The Day His Smile Disappeared 7, Christmas
by Elentari the Fair
Summary: It's Christmastime...So sorry for the delay...school work is evil. Let's see how Christmas goes over in Monk's first year wo Trudy. Please R


It has now been 5 months since Trudy died. To her husband Adrian it seemed like yesterday since his wife was killed. Still no leads on her death, but Stottlemyer had told him many times that they aren't giving up. Other than that, nothing has really changed. He has still not left the house. Speaking of houses, his house was still immaculate, he still woke up at six am, he still cleaned all day long, he still went to bed at ten pm, he still barely ate anything, and he still hardly ever slept. Stottlemyer still came over almost weekly. He always tried to talk Adrian into going back to work. He knew that his friend needed to go back. The Force was where he belonged. No pervail though. Adrian wasn't going back soon. Other than that, aside from the occasional visit from Christie, Adrian had hardly any visitors. Ambrose still has not answered the phone to Adrian calling him almost every day, nor has he returned his calls. There was one thing new going on though. Christmas was comming.

Every day when he spent hours staring out his living room window, he could see Christmas decorations being put up on all the nearby stores. People were hustling and bustling along the busy San Fransisco streets buying gifts and wrapping paper. According to his calender it was December 19th. He still kept a very up-to-date calender. He could smell Christmas ginger bread cookies being baked just above him in Kevin Dorfman's apartment. Kevin could be annoying, but he did come over pretty often. Even if it was just to say hi and drop off a baked good, which he never ate.

Almost on cue, the doorbell rang. He opened the door and let a flustered Kevin into the kitchen. "Do you have any cinnamon Adrian?" Kevin asked quickly "I'm baking cookies and..."

"Yeah...I got some, hang on." Adrian interrupted. Hewent over to his expertly organized spice rack and retreived the cinnamon to reveal multiple cinnamon containers behind it. He pushed up the other cinnamon containers to make a perfectly even line with the other spice containers, and then gave the container to Kevin.

"Hey Adrian, why don't you come up to my apartment on Christmas eve? We could have dinner or something..." Kevin offered taking the container from Adrian.

"Ahhh well, I'll have to see what is on my schedule...maybe." Adrian said slowly, gently nudging his neighbor towards the door. Kevin took the this subtle hint. "Well I've got cookies to bake..thanks Adrian." He dashed out the door and ran to the stairs going to his appartment.

Adrian went back inside, closed and locked the door. He began to roll his eyes humorlessly when he caught the site of a little bit of dust in the corner of his celing. Adrian went over to the closet to get his vaccum cleaner and took it out. He looked behind the vaccum and saw the Christmas decorations sitting innocently in there. "I just don't have the energy for this...nor the time." He thought to himself as he got the box of decorations out and looked through them. He discarded the box for a moment and set up the vaccum. Quickly, he vaccumed the celeing. Well, quickly meaning it took over an hour. O well though, it was only noon.

He dissasembled the vaccum and put it away. Adrian looked down and saw the decorations again. Just sitting there. A box of memories rather. He dragged it over to the couch and put it on the crooked coffee table in front of him.

He took things out of the box one by one, savoring precious Christmas memories with Trudy. They had a wonderful seven Christmasses together, and lots of beautiful decorations to celebrate this with. He took out a decoration made out of a small pine cone that Trudy had made herself when she was just a little kid. It was a little Santa Claus with googly eyes, a little red hat and everything. He smelled it, raptured in it's piney scent laced with time. He remembered that his one was the first ornament they placed on their first Christmas tree seven years ago.

He put it down as gently as a man holding a china doll, and proceded onto the next decoration. It was an angel that goes on top of the tree. He remembered that it was Trudy's favorite decoration they had. It had little candles in it's little porcliene hands that lit up when you lit up the tree lights.

On and on he looked through each and every decoration. Savoring each and every memory attached to them, no matter how small it was. He smelled the garland remembering that it was always Trudy's job to hang up the garland, and it was his to hang up the lights, which he found at the bottom of the box, wrapped perfectly neatly...KNOCK!

A knocking intterupted his thoughts. "What now?!" He exclaimed angrily as he ran to the door. He was just about to scream "What is it?!" When he saw Christie standing outside his door. He choked back his cry and asked "What are you doing here Joe?"

"Adrian, I got you a suprise..." he said with a smile.

"Oh no..what is it?" Adrian asked aprehensivlely.

"No..you're gonna love it." He said and walked back outside. "Stand back." He warned and walked in carring over his shoulder a beautiful Pine Christmas tree! He set it down with a "Thump" and some needles fell off. Adrian winced visably at the needles on his clean floor. "Don't you love it?" Christie asked, huffing a little from carring the tree.

"Ahh..uh...yeah...it's...great." Adrian replied.

"Hahah! I'm just kidding with you." Joe said laughing. "This isn't your tree. It's mine. _This_ is your tree." He walked back outside carring the tree with him. He came back with a smaller, beautiful plastic tree. "Got this at WalMart. Totally artifical." Monk audibly let out a sigh of relief.

"Here, help me set it up won't you?" His friend asked with a big grin on his face.

So Adrian and Joe moved the table and set the tree up in front of the window. When they got it nice and even, Joe left. Knowing that Adrian was going to get started cleaning the spilled needles on the floor, and he didn't want to be around to watch it, it would drive him nuts.

Clean the needles, he did. He vacumed and vacumed. Then cleaned the whole living room. He even dusted the fake needles on the tree. When he was done, he sat on the couch again, looking at the tree.

He and Trudy had always gotten a real tree. Adrian really didn't like having a real tree, as it would leave needles all over the floor, but he knew how much it ment to Trudy. She would always have a real tree as a kid, so he would happily buy a real tree for her. This year, he finally got what he wanted, a fake tree. But he knew that he would instantly get a real tree and COVER his floor in pine needles if it meant he could celebrate even that one holiday with Trudy. One last time....

He got up and went over to the moved box of ornaments and decorations. He took out the lights first, and strung them up along the tree. Making sure each needle got just the right amount of light. He then took out each and every ornament and hung them up. The very first ornament he picked up was that pine cone. He looked at it for a moment, and hung it up. Adrian then hung up each and every ornament with special care. He then got a chair and hung up the Angel on top of the tree.

He stood back and turned the lights on, and every other light off. So that all light that shone was the beautiful reds, oranges, greens, blues, and whites that shone off the tree. He felt those wretched tears on his cheeks again. Christmas..? It wasn't Christmas...Trudy wasn't there. Christmas was her favorite holdiday, and she couldn't even be there?! It wasn't fair! Adrian looked at the table, and saw the garland sitting there. He knew that he had left the garland off the tree on purpose. It was Trudy's job to hang it, and she wasn't here to hang it, therefore it wouldn't be hung.

A few days passed, and it was Christmas Eve. Looking out his window, he could see the few last minute shoppers running through the streets, trying to get home quickly to wrap presents and get them under the tree. He smiled a rueful smile, suddenly regretting that he and Trudy never had children. It would certainly help makes his holidays better. They talked about it, but they said that they didn't have enough money to raise a child now.

"We were planning on it though.." Adrian said to himself, tears in his eyes again. "I guess that's not going to happen."

He sadly moved away from the window at the sound of his door being knocked on. He went to the door and looked through the peep hole. Adrian opened his door with a cry of happiness and suprise. Dwight, Marcia, Stottlemyer, Karen, and Christie were all standing in front of him. "MERRY CHRISTMAS ADRIAN!" They all said together.

"What...what are you all doing here?!" Adrian exlaimed; letting them all in.

"We wanted to be sure you weren't alone on Christmas Eve." Said Christie clapping him on the shoulder. "We wanted you to have a nice the circumstances." Said Marcia, hugging him in turn. They all exchanged hugs and handshakes. They all sat down and Adrian got up to get coffee for everyone. "Oh wait Adrian!" cried Karen standing up suddenly, "I have something else for you. I forgot it in the hall." She ran outside and came in carrying a turkey, organic vegtables (of course), bread and a whole assortment of food. "I assume you have pots and pans?" She asked him.

"Yeah...I do..." He said.."but I can't cook." Adrian blushed.

"Oh we know." Marcia said from the couch. Trudy would tell me all the time. Plus it's not hard to tell, your pants are almost down to your ankles now! Don't tell me you have been eating properly...so tomorrow, I'm comming over, and you, Karen and I are going to cook up a Christmas feast for everyone here."

Monk looked at all his friends. They were there for him, when he needed them most. It was Christmas, he knew that at least Dwight and Marcia would want to spend the holidays alone, it was their first one without Trudy, but they instead were there, making sure his day wasn't totally lonely.

Tears flooded his eyes as he said in a cracked voice; "My friends. Thank you...thank you so much for comming." He rushed into the kitchen and busied himself with the coffee, and getting himself under control.

A few hours later, after a dinner of boxed lasagna made by Marcia, everyone left. The food was in the fridge waiting to be cooked the next morning. The living room was clean, the dishes were done, the kitchen was cleaned up, so was the bathroom and bedroom. Adrian just stood in his living room, The lights were off, except for the Christmas lights on the tree, casting the room in a beautiful array of glowing colors. With help of Leland, and Christie, the house was beautiful. His two friends had discovered the box of decorations and helped him decorate his house in Christmas cheer.

He looked up and saw the angel giving off a lovely glow of yellow. Adrain looked down a little bit and saw the pine cone ornament in the middle. Illuminated by a red light. He reached up and touched it gently as if it may break. He turned his eyes to the garland around the doorway, it was everywhere. It was on the doorways, on the walls, everywhere. Suddenly his blood began to boil. With a surge of rage, he ran over and snatched the garland off. He ran and took off every bit of garland he could find. Angrily he ripped it apart and threw it away. It was TRUDY'S job to hang this up. Adrian opened his hand and saw a small piece of the shiny green stuff in his hand. He closed his hand tightly over it and brought it to his lips, and closed his eyes. All anger was gone, replaced by sadness. This wasn't a holiday. This was Hell. Trudy wasn't here. Her parents would be here tomorrow. So would his friends. But something was missing. That cheer that Christmas had, it wasn't there. Trudy was missing. She was that cheer that Christmas had.

Adrian walked into his room, and set the tiny piece of garland on the dresser next to her photo. The clock read 11:04. He walked into his kitchen and made himself a cup of tea. As he drank it slowly and thoughtfuly, he remembered how on every Christmas eve, he and his wife would sit up on the couch and talk. Sometimes they would hold hands, sometimes they would kiss. Mostly though, he was happy just staring into her blue eyes.

"Adrian, I love you..." Trudy whispered to him on the couch.

"I love you too..." Adrian replied. "Trudy, have you ever thought about us having kids?"

"I did...have you?" She asked.

"I have thought of it too. I don't think that we have enough money right now...plus why rush? We have all the time in the world!" He said giving her a hug.

"That is true. Someday, do you think that we can have kids...you know, when you get that promotion that Stottlemyer keeps talking about?" She asked with humor in her voice.

Adrian nudged her arm gently. "Maybe someday..." He whispered. " Oh! Trudy that reminds me, I have a early gift for you."

"Adrian, you know we don't open the gifts until Christmas morning..." She started.

"I know, but I couldn't wait to give this to you." He said almost nervously.

Trudy giggled a little and asked "Well? What is it?"

"Wait here." Adrian got up and walked over to the tree. He reached inside it and pulled out a small box wrapped in perfectly neat red paper. Adrian handed it to her with his fingers slightly trembling.

She opened it eagerly and saw a blue velvet box. "Oh..." she started as she opened the box. It contained a gold necklace with a small dark blue saphire stone. She gasped happily and pulled it out. "Oh...Adrian! Where on _Earth_ did you get this?! How much did it _cost?!_"

"That, my dear, is something for me to know and you to never find out." He replied and added "Stand up, I want to see how this looks on you."

She got up and turned around so he could put it on. The stone caught the light and shimmered, like her eyes. "How does it look?" She asked romantically.

"Perfect." Adrian replied just as romantically. "Merry Christmas Trudy."

"It's not Christmas yet, Adrian." She said softly.

"Yes It is..look at the clock." He grinned. "It's twelve o' seven. December 25th. Merry Christmas."

"She turned around to face him and looked into his brown eyes with her blue ones. I love you so much Adrian."

"And I you..." He whispered, "And I you." Their lips moved closer and closer. He wrapped his arms around her, and held his wife close to him. The lips met and a small spark of electricity passed through them. The kiss deepend and they held each other in front of the tree."

Monk finished his glass of water as he compleated the flashback. He was startled to find tears on his hands in front of him. He wiped them away impatiantly and rose from his chair and walked into his living room with his cup. He stood in front of the couch where this had taken place. Adrian looked at the clock that read 12:07. He rose his cup into the air and whispered into the darkness. "Merry Christmas Trudy."


End file.
